Domestic Violence in the Evangelical Church

When it Comes to Violence Against Women and Children, Some Shepherds are Feeding their Sheep to the Wolves...

In March of this year, a video was released of former Baltimore Raven running back Ray Rice.  In the video, he is dragging his unconscious wife (then fiancee) out of an elevator in a New Jersey Casino.  Rice was charged with assault, but the charges were dropped when he agreed to attend court-supervised counselling.  After the legal case was resolved, the NFL placed Rice on a two game suspension, which generated a great deal of criticism that the NFL was not taking the issue of domestic violence seriously.  Following the initial outcry, the NFL revamped their policy on players accused of domestic violence to include much harsher penalties that can be imposed even if the players are not convicted of a crime.

On September 8th, additional video from inside the elevator was released.  This shocking footage has stunned and outraged the public.  It shows Rice punching his wife twice, and it shows her striking her head on the inside of the elevator and falling to the ground unconscious.  Showing no emotion, Rice then picks her up and drags her from the elevator.

The video can be found on YouTube. There are other videos of Ray Rice on the video sharing site, including a clip of him in a video called SuperBowlGospel, where he discusses his faith in God.  Rice has since been cut by the Ravens and placed on an indefinite suspension by the NFL, and many sports broadcast figures have been calling for NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to resign due to his mishandling of the original suspension.

How does the Evangelical Church Respond to Abuse, the Abuser and the Abused?

Given that the Bible calls on the strong to protect the weak, and points out that civil authorities have been established to punish evildoers, and that many evangelical leaders promote a view that the Bible teaches that women are the weaker vessel and that is is a man's responsibility to protect women, it would seem that Evangelical leaders would make a strong stand for victim's rights and the need for swift and strict justice to be carried out against abusers.  While many do, surprisingly, some very influential evangelical leaders and institutions have what appears to be a practice of enabling abusers and blaming victims.

Consider the following:

1. During a Conference Sermon in 2000, Paige Patterson (President of the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary) offered the following advice to battered spouses:  "you have to do what you can at home to be submissive in every way that you can and to elevate him".  In the same sermon, Patterson bragged about how a woman came to him in church with two black eyes after following his advice.
2. In a 2009 question and answer video, popular pastor John Piper answered a question about how abused wives should submit to their husbands by stating that "if it’s not requiring her to sin, but simply hurting her, then I think she endures verbal abuse for a season, she endures perhaps being smacked one night, and then she seeks help from the church…The church then must step in, be her strength and say to him, “No, you can’t do this.” Four years later he "clarified" his remarks by stating that a physically abused wife could possibly seek help from the police, and not just the church.
3. Students of Bob Jones University who had experienced rape and sexual abuse were told by college deans and counselors to repent if they had experienced pleasure while being assaulted and to reach out to their abusers and ask their forgiveness for feelings of bitterness.  One victim was told that she needed to find the sin in her life that caused her to be raped.
4. Students attending Patrick Henry University (a popular school for home-schooled students who have been raised to seek a spouse through "courtship" instead of dating) found the administration had a practice of blaming female students when they complained to college officials about sexual assault, harassment and stalking from male students.  The female students have complained that the administration is more concerned about protecting the image of the school than protecting the students from unwanted sexual attention and assault.

Setting the Tone

It is troubling when institutions and individuals who represent the Christian faith and the Gospel, who are training the next generation of Christian leaders set an example of dealing with victims and abusers in ways that excuse violent and harmful behavior by blaming the victims and placing the responsibility on the victims to behave in away that does not provoke abuse.

Christian leaders and institutions need to be careful that they aren't creating an atmosphere where abuse can flourish.  Several attitudes that create such an environment include:

1. Rigid authority structures where disagreement with and opposition to spiritual leaders is viewed as rebellion to God, even when the leaders behave in immoral, abusive and illegal ways.  This especially comes into play in groups that strongly emphasize "complementarian" theology, a patriarchal concept that claims that women and men have intrinsic, gender based differences that require wives to be submissive to their husbands as the spiritual leaders of their homes.
2. Strict behavioral codes where outward behaviors are viewed as symbols of one's obedience and devotion to God.  Because of their tendency to emphasize appearing righteous, these groups are often pressure abuse victims not to report their abusers, since it would bring a reproach on the church and the gospel if the truth becomes widely known.
3. A strong belief that women are required to take special efforts not to "defraud" men by provoking lustful thoughts and desires in men.  Functionally, they are required to wear long dresses and skirts and tops that do not expose skin below the neckline.  The female body and female sexuality are viewed as irresistibly desirable to men; however, little or no pressure is placed on men to control their desires, and women are blamed when men act out.

Imagine the situation that a woman who is physically abused by her husband finds herself in when she approaches her pastor and complains about the situation.  She is told she must forgive her husband, submit to him and pray that he will repent.  She is discouraged from going to police, since a the scandal would surely bring a reproach on the church and the gospel.  

If she discovers that her violent husband is also sexually abusing their children, she is told that she must make sure that she is meeting his sexual needs, and that her abused children must forgive him, and that the children (if they are female) must be careful not to provoke his sexual desires.  He may be confronted by church leaders, and if he appears contrite, they will be satisfied that the family needs to forgive him and continue to submit to him.  Above all, they are told not to go to the police.  

If the wife or children do go to the police (or they are notified in some other way), church leaders will appear in court: to support the accused, not the victims.  They will plead with the court for mercy and lenient sentencing, and they will pressure the victims not to testify against the abuser.  If he is convicted and sentenced, they will attack the victims and claim that he was unfairly accused.  As outrageous and unbelievable as this scenario may sound, it is played out more often than we would like to believe in evangelical circles.  The experiences of abuse victims at New Tribes Mission's Fanda school and members of Sovereign Grace Ministries churches provide shocking examples.

Shepherds are Supposed to Guard the Sheep

In the Bible, pastors and spiritual leaders are likened to shepherds, and are commanded to guard the sheep and protect them from wolves.  All Christians, whether church members or leaders need to recognize that men who physically and sexually abuse women and children are wolves, and that the leaders who protect wolves aren't true shepherds, regardless of their titles.

What is happening with Mark Driscoll and how should we respond?

What Is Going On?

According to an article on Religious New Service:

Seattle megachurch founder Mark Driscoll will step down for at least six weeks while the Mars Hill board of elders review formal charges lodged against him from previous pastors

Driscoll has been under heavy fire for the last few months, since a March article in World Magazine revealed that Driscoll used church funds to hire a company named "Results Source" to carry out a scheme to have Driscoll's book "Real Marriage" be declared a New York Times best seller by having Results Source purchase a large number of the books while posing as individual buyers.

Driscoll has been dogged by controversy for some time, and his critics within the evangelical world have used the damage that the scandal has done to his standing as a "Celebrity Pastor" to inform a broader church audience of their concerns about Driscoll's behavior, including accusations of plagiarism, abusive treatment of his staff, and misuse of funds that were raised to support churches in impoverished areas of the world, but were actually used for Mars Hill expenses, including the purchase of additional satellite locations.

Until recently, Driscoll enjoyed solid support from many influential leaders in the evangelical community.  In the last several weeks, however, that support has begun to crumble.  James McDonald and and Paul Tripp resigned from his Board of Advisors and Accountability (BOAA) with Tripp publicly stating that the BOAA "will never be able to do what it was designed to do."

Then, on August 8th, the Acts 29 church planting network that Driscoll helped found expelled Driscoll and the Mars Hill family of churches for engaging in a "pattern of “ungodly and disqualifying behavior" and urged Driscoll to " “step down from ministry for an extended time and seek help.” In addition, Acts 29 criticized the Mars Hill BOAA, stating that "we no longer believe the BOAA is able to execute the plan of reconciliation originally laid out. Ample time has been given for repentance, change, and restitution, with none forthcoming."

What Conclusions Should We Draw?

Driscoll and many of his supporters (including the executive elders of Mars Hill) admit that Driscoll has made mistakes.  They also point out that nobody, including pastors are perfect. They also claim that he has admitted his errors and apologized for them and that the broad body of evangelical believers should accept his apologies, forgive him and allow him to continue his ministry.  In response to Acts 29 criticism, the Mars Hill BOAA stated that "There is clear evidence that the attitudes and behaviors attributed to Mark in the charges are not a part and have not been a part of Mark's life for some time now."

It is true that it is unrealistic and unreasonable to expect pastors to be perfect.  However, it is reasonable to expect pastors to meet the Biblical qualifications for an elder cited in 1st Timothy  3 and Titus 1. A pastor should also be expected to treat his staff and church members in a caring and Christ-like manner, and to conduct himself with the dignity that reflects the honor of his position, so that he gives a positive impression of himself, his church and Jesus Christ.

Therefore, it is evident that Mark Driscoll is not (and has never been) "qualified" to serve as an elder for a Christian church, for the following reasons:

1. Driscoll has consistently used crude and vulgar language in and out of the pulpit.  The Bible clearly instructs all believers (never mind pastors) to avoid using crude language.  Driscoll's consistent and ongoing use of Biblically prohibited speech reveals him to be a person who is carnal, angry and immature, the exact opposite of what the Bible requires from a pastor.
2. Driscoll has made abusive and vile statements about those who disagree with his definition of gender roles.  From his 14 year old rants about a "Pu**ified Nation", to calling men whose wives work outside of the home "man fails", to blaming pastors wives who "have let themselves go" for their husbands moral failures, Driscoll has continuously made unbiblical, unspiritual and abusive statements to and about those who don't fulfill his overly macho version of "complementarian" theology.  His lack of gentleness and his argumentative persona are not compatible with the requirements of an elder.
3. Driscoll has treated his staff and church members who disagree with his vision and tactics in an abusive and unchristlike manner.  Driscoll has bragged about wanting to accumulate a mountain of bodies under the wheels of the Mars Hill Bus, and that he put one of his elders through a wood-chipper.  He publicly stated that if it weren't for Jesus, he would physically attack two elders who opposed his 2007 redrafting of the Mars Hill constitution and by-laws, and then fired and ordered them shunned without biblical justification.  An elder who question church finances following the Results Source revelations was fired, and members who asked similar questions were told to leave the church.  These are the actions of a dictator or a mafioso, not a shepherd  of God's flock.
4. Driscoll has proven to be a fundamentally dishonest person.  He has admitted to stealing property from a former church.  He has plagiarized multiple authors in numerous books.  He used Results Source to make it appear that he was a best-selling author.  He claimed that the security staff at John MacArthur's strange fire conference confiscated his books.  There are serious unanswered questions about funds raised for the Mars Hill Global Fund and for the cancelled Jesus Fest.  These examples are well documented and leave little room for the possibility of innocent mistakes and misunderstandings, and he has created a track record of deceptive behavior that is unacceptable for a Christian Pastor.
5. Driscoll unilaterally excommunicated his entire church in 2007 in order to force the church into accepting the new constitution and bylaws that radically altered the church's governance structure.  The Bible does not give pastors authority to excommunicate members at will, much less their entire church  for their own personal agenda.  This action reveals an attitude towards the church that is ultimately self-serving, rather than recognizing that the Church as an institution belongs to Jesus, not the pastor, and that a pastor is called to serve the Church, not the other way around.
6. Driscoll has mis-characterized and misused the scriptures, often for transparently self-serving purposes.  He has claimed that the Bible states that church members sin by questioning the decisions of elders.  That the Bible teaches church members to shut up and do what they are told.  He has interpreted the Song of Solomon as a graphic sex manual wherein Jesus commands wives to perform oral sex on their husbands.  He claims that the character of Esther has been grossly misinterpreted as a virtuous hero by evangelicals who ignore her sexual sin and godless behavior.  A pastor is expected to correctly handle the word of truth so that God and His eternal will are communicated effectively to his congregation, not to use the word to manipulate members into obeying the pastors every command without question or to pressure wives into performing sexual favors for their husbands.
7. Sad to say, this could go on for a while...

How should the Church respond?

Christians should be praying.  Praying for Mark Driscoll to take the time he has for the next six weeks while the charges against him are being investigated for what it is: an opportunity. It's an opportunity to reflect on who he is, what he's done, how he got to where he is, and where he is going in the future.  An opportunity to reach out and reconcile personally with the many people he has hurt.  An opportunity to decide how the rest of his life is going to be defined.  

We also need to pray for the elders of Mars Hill who are investigating the charges and who will determine what discipline, if any, is to be applied.  So far, the leadership of Mars Hill has been seriously lacking.  They have consistently enabled and supported Driscoll in his reign of error by refusing to insist that Driscoll model Biblical standards of behavior and refusing to stand up for the rights and interests of the members of Mars Hill.  Hopefully, they will realize that the ends (a big Church ministry) do not justify the means.

The latest set of charges brought against Driscoll are more or less a response to the fact that the BOAA did not act to remove or discipline Driscoll following charges made by Dave Kraft.  Even though the BOAA basically admitted that the substance of the charges were true, they claimed that Driscoll had not behaved in that manner for several years.  The charges brought last week all focus on more recent action by Driscoll.   Hopefully they will respond to the latest set of charges with a more responsible attitude.

We should also be careful not to sin by rejoicing in the fall of another Christian.  Although Mark Driscoll has never offended or harmed me personally, I have never agreed with his "I am the brand" approach, his ultra-macho persona, his scorched-earth approach to leadership or his misogyny disguised as "complementarian" theology.  And unfortunately, it's all too easy to adopt a self-righteous attitude.  To forget that I'm not perfect and that I just might have some serious blind-spots in my life too.  To enjoy the fact that he's finally, maybe, going to reap what he's sown.  It's a tragedy when a person who is as talented and capable as Driscoll is publicly exposed, when he could be used powerfully for the kingdom of God, and our hope is for restoration, not vigilante church justice in the name of Jesus.

Ultimately, the church needs to be willing to adopt a much more discerning attitude towards the concept of the "Celebrity Pastor".  It is truly amazing how long it has taken for Driscoll's supporters to pay attention to the damage he has done to the people he has abused and to the reputation of the evangelical church.  The only explanation that makes sense is that people who should have know better overlooked his very obvious, disqualifying flaws because he was able to successfully reach a demographic that the church normally cannot effectively minister to.  

Unfortunately, there are more out there like him.  There are pastors whose over-zealous staff members criminally harass and stalk church critics.  Who use advances for books written on Church time to purchase expensive homes in gated communities under third party names.  Who offer money back guarantees on members tithes.  These are not "Prosperity Preachers" or Sleazy Televangelists.  These are preachers who sell popular books, host popular conferences, write articles for mainstream christian publications.  They are promoting an approach to ministry that is fundamentally dangerous and abusive, and we are footing the bill.  It's time for us to wake up.

In an recent article on Driscoll, J Lee Grady stated:

 "I want to get on my soapbox and remind everybody that there really are biblical requirements for leadership, and that we should not follow pastors who disregard those rules—no matter how popular they are on Twitter or how many books they sell."

That's good advice, and I hope we follow it.