Domestic Violence in the Evangelical Church

When it Comes to Violence Against Women and Children, Some Shepherds are Feeding their Sheep to the Wolves...

In March of this year, a video was released of former Baltimore Raven running back Ray Rice.  In the video, he is dragging his unconscious wife (then fiancee) out of an elevator in a New Jersey Casino.  Rice was charged with assault, but the charges were dropped when he agreed to attend court-supervised counselling.  After the legal case was resolved, the NFL placed Rice on a two game suspension, which generated a great deal of criticism that the NFL was not taking the issue of domestic violence seriously.  Following the initial outcry, the NFL revamped their policy on players accused of domestic violence to include much harsher penalties that can be imposed even if the players are not convicted of a crime.

On September 8th, additional video from inside the elevator was released.  This shocking footage has stunned and outraged the public.  It shows Rice punching his wife twice, and it shows her striking her head on the inside of the elevator and falling to the ground unconscious.  Showing no emotion, Rice then picks her up and drags her from the elevator.

The video can be found on YouTube. There are other videos of Ray Rice on the video sharing site, including a clip of him in a video called SuperBowlGospel, where he discusses his faith in God.  Rice has since been cut by the Ravens and placed on an indefinite suspension by the NFL, and many sports broadcast figures have been calling for NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to resign due to his mishandling of the original suspension.

How does the Evangelical Church Respond to Abuse, the Abuser and the Abused?

Given that the Bible calls on the strong to protect the weak, and points out that civil authorities have been established to punish evildoers, and that many evangelical leaders promote a view that the Bible teaches that women are the weaker vessel and that is is a man's responsibility to protect women, it would seem that Evangelical leaders would make a strong stand for victim's rights and the need for swift and strict justice to be carried out against abusers.  While many do, surprisingly, some very influential evangelical leaders and institutions have what appears to be a practice of enabling abusers and blaming victims.

Consider the following:

1. During a Conference Sermon in 2000, Paige Patterson (President of the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary) offered the following advice to battered spouses:  "you have to do what you can at home to be submissive in every way that you can and to elevate him".  In the same sermon, Patterson bragged about how a woman came to him in church with two black eyes after following his advice.
2. In a 2009 question and answer video, popular pastor John Piper answered a question about how abused wives should submit to their husbands by stating that "if it’s not requiring her to sin, but simply hurting her, then I think she endures verbal abuse for a season, she endures perhaps being smacked one night, and then she seeks help from the church…The church then must step in, be her strength and say to him, “No, you can’t do this.” Four years later he "clarified" his remarks by stating that a physically abused wife could possibly seek help from the police, and not just the church.
3. Students of Bob Jones University who had experienced rape and sexual abuse were told by college deans and counselors to repent if they had experienced pleasure while being assaulted and to reach out to their abusers and ask their forgiveness for feelings of bitterness.  One victim was told that she needed to find the sin in her life that caused her to be raped.
4. Students attending Patrick Henry University (a popular school for home-schooled students who have been raised to seek a spouse through "courtship" instead of dating) found the administration had a practice of blaming female students when they complained to college officials about sexual assault, harassment and stalking from male students.  The female students have complained that the administration is more concerned about protecting the image of the school than protecting the students from unwanted sexual attention and assault.

Setting the Tone

It is troubling when institutions and individuals who represent the Christian faith and the Gospel, who are training the next generation of Christian leaders set an example of dealing with victims and abusers in ways that excuse violent and harmful behavior by blaming the victims and placing the responsibility on the victims to behave in away that does not provoke abuse.

Christian leaders and institutions need to be careful that they aren't creating an atmosphere where abuse can flourish.  Several attitudes that create such an environment include:

1. Rigid authority structures where disagreement with and opposition to spiritual leaders is viewed as rebellion to God, even when the leaders behave in immoral, abusive and illegal ways.  This especially comes into play in groups that strongly emphasize "complementarian" theology, a patriarchal concept that claims that women and men have intrinsic, gender based differences that require wives to be submissive to their husbands as the spiritual leaders of their homes.
2. Strict behavioral codes where outward behaviors are viewed as symbols of one's obedience and devotion to God.  Because of their tendency to emphasize appearing righteous, these groups are often pressure abuse victims not to report their abusers, since it would bring a reproach on the church and the gospel if the truth becomes widely known.
3. A strong belief that women are required to take special efforts not to "defraud" men by provoking lustful thoughts and desires in men.  Functionally, they are required to wear long dresses and skirts and tops that do not expose skin below the neckline.  The female body and female sexuality are viewed as irresistibly desirable to men; however, little or no pressure is placed on men to control their desires, and women are blamed when men act out.

Imagine the situation that a woman who is physically abused by her husband finds herself in when she approaches her pastor and complains about the situation.  She is told she must forgive her husband, submit to him and pray that he will repent.  She is discouraged from going to police, since a the scandal would surely bring a reproach on the church and the gospel.  

If she discovers that her violent husband is also sexually abusing their children, she is told that she must make sure that she is meeting his sexual needs, and that her abused children must forgive him, and that the children (if they are female) must be careful not to provoke his sexual desires.  He may be confronted by church leaders, and if he appears contrite, they will be satisfied that the family needs to forgive him and continue to submit to him.  Above all, they are told not to go to the police.  

If the wife or children do go to the police (or they are notified in some other way), church leaders will appear in court: to support the accused, not the victims.  They will plead with the court for mercy and lenient sentencing, and they will pressure the victims not to testify against the abuser.  If he is convicted and sentenced, they will attack the victims and claim that he was unfairly accused.  As outrageous and unbelievable as this scenario may sound, it is played out more often than we would like to believe in evangelical circles.  The experiences of abuse victims at New Tribes Mission's Fanda school and members of Sovereign Grace Ministries churches provide shocking examples.

Shepherds are Supposed to Guard the Sheep

In the Bible, pastors and spiritual leaders are likened to shepherds, and are commanded to guard the sheep and protect them from wolves.  All Christians, whether church members or leaders need to recognize that men who physically and sexually abuse women and children are wolves, and that the leaders who protect wolves aren't true shepherds, regardless of their titles.